Carlos - Matter inert
Carlos had no idea what the physical disgust, before they found themselves sitting in court alongside Holmes.
believed to have tried something very similar in the bathroom of Queer - when he had the brilliant thought to check their sexuality with the first male animal that had happened at hand - but Holmes nullified any previous experience: the malaise that was instilled visceral reaction and did not seem satisfied with a simple shower to wash off your skin.
He stood before the judge perfectly composed, perfectly elegant in his dark suit, said it would have a distinct middle-aged women in that audience happened by chance, had not been sitting in the space of the defendants, the most sickening aspect of the affair was the intolerable gap between the accusations that were being addressed and that its bold security - be sure to leave it clean , probably, or maybe a bit of challenge covert expressions distracted. Carlos
remember for life the moment he had turned during the harangue of the prosecutor, and had discovered that the old man was drawing the grid of the naval battle in its bloc of black leather.
sometimes get to the end of the hearing seemed impossible - sometimes found himself on the verge of getting in feet and give there all. On its downgrading to
assistant pro forma was desperate for months, yet now it seemed impossible not to wonder what would happen to him if things had gone differently: in fact clothed little more than the role of tapestry in that process, and even then he had trouble eating, trouble sleeping. Problems include the number of cigarettes smoked during the day or be reminded of any reason for going out at night.
It was not just physical exhaustion - it was the drive to fail.
The eradication of the light twenty years, perhaps - the constant nausea and the feeling of having lost all view of each goal. Then
Raven was gone - had happened at the weekend.
had phoned to warn that it would be camped for a bit 'of his friend and director Carlos not only by then he had lost track but had seen him break the only bond that still seemed to connect its most basic to everyday life.
If Raven could happen when there was a beer together, exchange a few words or distracted to get involved in any of its myriad activities, now the silence was stealing too thick for most automatic gestures, however, and even undress to go to sleep was redundant. Even undoing the blankets, jeans or slip off take off your shoes. Open the windows to let the smoke out.
Holmes followed him to the house - it was an odor impregnated her, the constant repetition of words heard in the classroom and the incessant replays of each frame of the process. The suspicion that Hamilton was right when he said that he was not suited for that type of work. When advised him to give up, devote themselves to nature documentaries.
At the same time incomprehensible was the absurdity of certain situations: watching the cruelest of defensive pleadings and David dropped out of the locker room on the couch after - head thrown back and fatigue scored in every wrinkle of the brow. His hand on the shoulder, exactly when he was about to escape the classroom - the close of the fingers on muscles. Nerves.
And his eyes fixed on the jury, while - as if that gesture even belong to him. As if he were barely conscious.
There was no logic.
But the truth is that no rational answer to some long time - that this case had represented since the beginning of the collapse of any consistency and that seems to define the roles become confused in the only instances of conflicting and irreconcilable: kids who appeared as adults, the bad with the appearance of a friendly Grannies. The desire to escape and the determination to remain - Hamilton that unleashed deadly blows. Hamilton dribbling journalists, then, without bothering to collect the fruits of his triumphs or to stress its importance.
"I'm afraid I have forgotten the documents in the office," Carlos had announced, expecting the worst of the reactions. Almost feel on the skin, the shockwave of an explosion coming. "We should ask for time to download from the web, sorry."
But David had merely nodded, letting him sign simply to get to work.
"Let's do five minutes," he said just before entering the classroom.
And that was alienating: the inconsistency with the usual habits. The crippled and the inability to continuously capture the workings of a schizophrenic reality - behaviors that can not be deciphered.
also be passed from that quarter does not make sense - Carlos was bringing the car to the lawyers and there was no reason to lengthen the path to the house of Vivian. There was no reason to stop at the side of the road, turn off the engine and wait there still that you did the night deepened. That the package of cigarettes is emptied into a dense cloud of smoke and the look is anchored on the prospect of a popular building. A door is closed.
What aspects would not be able to say, from that situation.
When it came to the shutters of the shops were still raised, people walked the sidewalks and the rush-hour traffic slowed the race of machines.
Now the road is deserted, however, the streetlights came on the radio for a while and has already spent the evening news. He sent at least a dozen songs with a dedication, as he absently rotated the bracelet around the wrist. And even if
Vivian appeared on the horizon would not wait ended as the relief of discomfort rather familiar look to live at a distance - a distance only closer. More painful, of course. Maybe look
disappear behind a port would be as bad as that night at Queer or perhaps the knowledge that could be enough to get a few steps to make it appear even farther. Perhaps the image would flee immediately because the vertigo would close his eyes and would lack the strength to open them again later on.
He imagined kiss him often, lately - on certain nights the choked in his hands while others are simply left on his every word and touch could be sweet, sometimes violent. A hectic and sometimes was so slow so much.
Yet it was not that kind of impetus to push it that far, tonight - even the desperate desire to touch his body seems to be something rational when compared to the urgent need to ensure that it is complete - which has not changed its face and his hair is still blond. That there are no open scars, on his wrists. Carlos
inhales, his eyes narrowing.
can still see the pictures of the girl committed suicide on the night - he was only two years younger than Vivian's hands when they became an adult in the razors and veins were severed.
His corpse with eyes staring at the screen too bright - perhaps their fixity was not changed since his tenth birthday, and perhaps this was to scare you so much.
This, and the words of the mother.
"No longer recognized my daughter had changed her features, her smile was different. He had changed the look, and expression. "
When Raven had told him that Vivian was going out with an older person, Carlos did not want to know more: he lacked the strength to face a reality that is uncomfortable, had lacked the courage and determination.
During the last night the only option he had held grasping the phone, however, to reach his friend wherever he was hiding - asking him to investigate. What kind of person might be, this guy that life brings?
and what to look for a boy - what it takes?
In what way?
would have been useless anyway - Raven would never put his nose in the life Vivian without his consent and in any case he would not be sufficient information third hand.
continue to draw in the mind's usual scenarios: nightclubs, deserted streets and cars parked in the shadows. Dark alleys.
Yet perhaps the real danger attending local exclusive five-star hotels and the elegant districts of the hill. Perhaps there have never even been secret meetings between him and Vivian - maybe the guy has already taken possession of his daily life and his confidence. Of his house.
For too long there's even Björn, to ensure that minimum.
For too long the need to know is becoming untenable - a constant thought, as a premonition. An underground malaise.
straightening his back shooting, Carlos leans forward.
really did not expect to find on the street, all the answers - the hope was only able to see Vivian and survive the vacuum, perhaps. Follow him down the sidewalk with his eyes and see it disappear around the corner. Nothing more.
When his picture appeared in the distance my heart miss a beat, though, and not about emotion or nostalgia. Only disbelief at first - the way of thinking that all of a sudden collapse and the failure to process an unexpected reality. The surprise. The next moment is not
that anger - the blood that fills the veins and clenched fists until his knuckles whiten. Holmes on all the poison of language - all in disgust.
He could be any age.
may have fifty years from that perspective - beard care and clothing as simple as anonymous. Air to be the perfect family man, looks harmless. The accused
perfect.
But this time he wrapped his arm around his waist and pulls his victim towards him when he says something. The brushes her hair from her forehead when she laughs - could kiss her on the street. At any moment.
and shooting breaks the muscle tissue - the hand locks the door handle.
Carlos crosses the road between the horns of cars, grab the shirt of Vivian. Pushes back the old man, sharply. A shot in the chest.
"So, mh? So what? "
pushes him again.
is not particularly attractive, it has nothing special. Does not even have the balls to react when he found himself cornered and Carlos's clenched fist pressed against his cheek, breaking the bone.
"So you like to fuck little boys, who have perhaps the age of your child! Those that make you feel powerful - a dirty old man omnipotent, right? "
" Carlos? "The voice
Vivian arrives in disbelief from behind - the guy keeps his eyes fixed in his knuckles and he's pushing more forcefully against his jaw.
"Pinche cabrón , filthy worm!"
He wanted to vomit.
nothing would be enough to get to a strike - a flap of skin found under the buttons of his shirt or the slow swallowing throat.
would be enough if only the perception of his beard on the back of the hand, except that while Vivian began churning behind him, trying to pull it back and ripped the jacket. Ordered to leave the man, yelling at him.
"What are you doing, Herrera, you were stoned at all? "
" She 'Shut up, damn it! "
" Shut up? You come out of nowhere and attacks Albert and I have to shut up? "
" Oh, Albert! "Puffing out laughing angrily, Carlos grabs her wrist boy. "What a fucking shit name," then whispers, pointing the finger at the guy's chest. "Outdated and insignificant as you, you are enchanted!"
"What the hell pops into your head, can you explain that?"
It has become all too easy for Vivian, herself from the grasp of his arms: determining the force is something instinctive - any more deeply into the socket flesh and the fear of leaving bruises to ensure that the boy is finally able to sneak between him and man.
"What, you've decided to take homophobia to a new level?" Hisses, and Carlos finds himself pressed against his body without even knowing how. Without having time to prepare, raise your defenses. For a moment, it's like to fall. Get
apnea, feeling cold. Burn.
It has the same eyes ever, Vivian - if there was a change has been crystallized in the cold usually, what he knows only too well. What I eventually learned to be desired even in the absence of another.
"Take off" says, swallowing. But the other
thin eyelids - also probably say something unpleasant if the man did not posasse hand on my shoulder from behind.
"Vivian," she murmurs, with the caution of its most despicable cowards.
"You are outside, Albert!" Is the notice, accompanied by furious look. "It has to do with a cock in this story. Do not start either. "
And it is a satisfaction illogical, it react that way: knowing that he had put him and his pathetic lover against each other, at least - to see that still knows how to stand up to him and has not yet completely lost.
Carlos has always been truly proud of the way Vivian knows how to silence everyone, anytime. Do not remember him ever said anything like that, though, and does not recall him ever demonstrated his respect for any reason.
Easier to insult him, responding to the poison with poison. More convenient to think of a cheeky kid, a little shit.
now almost winces when the boy's attention back to focus on him.
"no longer even bear to see me walking down the street now?" Is the hissing, his voice barely lower. "What the fuck you doing in these parts, you know that I live here."
"But I knew your habits had evolved, "he says, with more evil than I had expected. As if the fact of speaking in front of the man was already a betrayal, by Vivian - as if at least the arguments should remain private matters. Things only
them.
He shakes his head, glancing at the guy: "You bring them home now, you also caregiver to Granny?"
She never wanted the evening would end that way - when he diverted his path to Vivian go into the territories did not intend to seek contact with him and much less so would end up fighting: in the bathroom of Queer had sworn to himself that if they met again and he would smile politely that he would speak if he had caused.
ask apology was useless and all the evil that has been made in recent months is not something that can be resolved with words. A lifetime would not suffice, perhaps.
But the fear would win trovarselo overlooked, would try to look into his eyes just to let him know that was passed that stage at least - at least on his part. That all past insults hid cowardly defenses - falsehood which he first has never really believed.
Sometimes if it is asked seriously whether it is possible to convey the sincerity in one eye. But now is there, on that pavement crushed by terror and frustration - from the poison that looks like jealousy and which is mainly feeds the need to protect Vivian, of the desperate need to establish a connection of any kind.
It is like being at the beginning of the usual circular path - he walked up to the extreme just to see the horizons of all time in the distance.
"Well, at least the great-grandmother have their own experience," whispers the boy, sharpening the smile. "We do not just take him in the mouth, as certain twenties ..."
is the usual mechanism - there is no reason for it stare and hit in the chest with the force. There is no reason to feel hurt when the emotion is already so busy processing the guilt of having hurt itself - of having betrayed every respect, and to rediscover again helpless in the face of contradictory impulse to slap or kiss . Hate him or love him. Yet bitterness remains
only when Vivian returns to life for tying the hands of her lover to push it along the sidewalk - a last look, cool, and thinks that Carlos could scream there to love you the way if only to serve out of the hands of man. Think that the body could become inert matter when you watch them go both inside the door - the little boy behind. The other front. And the empty
strangle the throat in a vice - the words swallow bitter pills as a plunge in the stomach. Like stones.
Next, click the siren of a burglar alarm. Take the lock of the door in the distance. And
occasion becomes inert matter - another pain and anger another.
Funny how far can lead you to a car after midnight.
Strange - because if you park under the house of Jude seemed absurd when Raven was driving, now that Carlos is alone seems unlikely to slip even in the only free space and get really close behind the door. Moving apace on the pavement, the dark sky overhead and the frame elaborate mansions all around. An alien setting.
He's always been difficult to understand the basics of a bond so deep - Jude is just a Daddy's boy, has toiled a lifetime to buy the elegant apartment where he lives and the soul should not be damned to earn a salary later this month. Do not even have to worry about his career, he has only his surname decline in the context in which it was born to be seen to open every door. Yet if you search for Raven
necessarily have to go from there: you can find it on the couch or in his bed - you can damn time, too, because so much Jude works only when inspired and almost always gets up at noon, in the morning.
And if the trouble is the same as always and the mystery of what we see Raven in a guy like that has not been answered yet, tonight is the urgency of other concerns that Carlos recommended to indulge in too picky attitudes through a cell phone the friend continues to be turned off and the windows are illuminated Jude - the choice is forced.
Ring the bell.
At the end of what can happen after a worse day in court and a close encounter with the softening that will stand you in this moment Vivian definitely fucking - Jude send him to fuck off?
survive.
After seeing that man could survive at all now - just want to know who he is and make sure that does not have a criminal record, to understand. Why.
"Jude, are Carlos," he exclaims in the handset, when the boy's voice slips into your ears with a metallic sound.
"Carlos?"
"Herrera," feels obliged to specify, even swear that the surprise is a result of the fact that the other has acknowledged it rather than the contrary hypothesis.
But the lock off immediately, turn on the light.
"Okay, Sali. "
And he gets in a hurry, two steps at a time - fist firmly attached to the handrail and even the strength to hope that if Raven is at least there does not appear on the door in a bathrobe or not emerged from the bedroom half-naked, the hair down. The smirk of his better moments, on the lips. The
has always hated, certain situations.
But that thought is nothing but a confused noise, something that will not slow the run marginal and dilutes the urgency of the need more pressing.
shortness of breath, when he arrives on the top floor: Jude standing in the doorway waiting for him - even he is half naked, thankfully, and Carlos can focus on the fact that beyond the question seems to hide more sleepy than anything else the voltage of an alarm confused, in the posture of the shoulders.
In reality, the mind, if he were scared.
never had sympathy for him in particular, but it is not the type to disturb others at night without feeling at least a little 'guilty.
"Sorry if I lead at home at this hour," he said then, while Jude moves away from the door to let him in the eye and runs quickly in the direction of the couch - in the direction of the room, more discreetly.
"You were not asleep, right?"
"No, but I did not expect to see you. "
" I suppose, natural ... "
" Has something happened? "just another application, forcing him to raise his hands in a calming gesture as much as possible.
"Nothing, I was just looking for Raven. He said he would move the story to a friend but from last weekend that I feel - I speak to him. On the phone has not responded. "
" And did you look here? "
The ironic laugh sounds completely out of place in that context - Carlos raises his eyebrows, but the next instant has stopped moving. The director
friend! - Think. Fuck.
You never know what friends are the friends of Raven, and in any case there is ever to swear that they are also just as friends Jude. Personally we have always understood little, in that matter.
"Shit. I'm sorry, I did not want ... "
" We are not a good time, me and Raven, "says Jude, coughing as he embarrassed and wondering why should always be reduced to make gaffes like this, even if they would rather avoid . Even when it has anything to her head, and we also need is to worry about the intrigues of Raven.
"Easy to your mobile phone is switched off because they do not want to risk that I give him a call. Not I had said nothing? "says another.
"No, I'm sorry ..."
"It's not a problem."
Among other things, Jude the result is always indecipherable in its behavior - even now does not know is whether or not minimizing. Perhaps that is the way in which distracted shrugs his shoulders, maybe it's that he sits in a chair with that a bit 'sluggish and a bit' bored - you almost get the impression that if the head falls into the universe simply to put out a step.
But when Carlos saw him raise his chin in the direction of the couch accepts his invitation but can not explain because he is doing - sitting on the edge of the cushion, legs apart and heels firmly anchored to the ground. Punta his elbows on his knees, waiting.
And when you hear him ask, then: "How come you mean Raven?" Is almost a relief to find a reply: "I saw the guy's Vivian, even an hour ago." Adding, shaking his head: "I almost punched. "
probably would have exploded if he had spoken with someone and not realize it while the other lifts his head - while watching him in silence, curious in a way which seems distracted tackle anything tonight.
"The guy Vivian?" repeated, amazed.
"You do not know, is an old fool!" He exclaimed, pulling up and starting to walk up and down the room. Pushing back her hair, kicked the table leg instinctive.
Now he cares very little about what may seem surreal situation - without losing even an apology, when he realizes he has just prevailed against a piece of furniture that will cost as much as his entire wardrobe.
"Not that I expected nothing comforting, since it is Vivian, but that guy is really the most vicious smears on the face of the earth - is a mollusk, I could have beaten up and would not even have the balls to react! I mean, who knew? I could be a madman, a maniac. Anyone. Vivian could load on his shoulders and take him into the car and make him anything. He would not lift a finger, you know? An invertebrate! "
slipped off his jacket, throws on the sofa with an angry gesture.
"But then. Obscene, "he adds, in a snort. "I do not know that generation was, however, I'd bet that there would be traced far back in time. For me it could well be a survivor of the last ice age! "
" Are you sure it was the guy Vivian? "
" certainly was not his grandfather, "he says, a laugh caustic. "And not because age was not there, but swears that Vivian has a legendary resistance and some things not as they tell their grandchildren stories, you think? You must have experienced it in person. Of course. "
And suddenly silent because the figure of Holmes adheres to the words with a chilling perfection - because he is tired of that image, tired of the nausea and horror that takes forever to finish to connect it to Vivian, in a way or another.
"Shit ..." he exclaims.
is exhausted physically, but just the thought that Vivian may be sleeping with the man to close the stomach and stretch the nerves. For him me want to smash something, punch the wall.
Jude, in front of him, does not seem as involved.
"Vivian has never spoken a lot, this guy," he says, stretching his arm to offer him a cigarette. Carlos is found that both industrial production, before deciding to take it. "From the little I said I imagined an old man, though."
"The few who said that?" Question.
A shrug of the shoulders, from the other.
"I do not know. From the way he spoke I thought it was the classic kind that makes him lose his head - adult, perhaps, but ... Fascinating. Cool, definitely. Probably a little 'bitch, if you look at past examples, but not quite pathetic ... "
" You know what I looked like? "He says, inhaling the smoke as if it were to pulverize the cigarette. "A shrink," snorts. "One of those psychiatrists with a pipe in his mouth that you wonder if they are not stuffed - even those who do not bat an eye if you stab the whole family before his eyes. Present? "
" More or less ... "
" Fuck. Mica will not ... "Carlos is stopped, swallowing. "He does not pass the drug mica?"
"Herrera, I know it's like impossible, "Jude beats, in a resigned sigh. "But Vivian is better at this time. Whoever that guy is not doing evil, and certainly not the weird stuff sells. Try to calm down. "
She massages her temples, then - it's almost shocking to realize how at certain times has the same gestures of Raven.
"Where did you see them, anyway? In some local? "
" Local? "Shaking his head, he lets go of his arms at his sides. "They were going home, my friend Vivian's house, hand in hand!"
"At home, Vivian?"
"Methuselah even had the keys, he was to open the door! I really think that he managed to plagiarize, so I need to talk to Raven. It is a very serious thing, you have to do something. Vivian is in danger, you know? "
" Herrera. "
He looks less sleepy, Jude - Carlos could not say when it is passed by the state of semi-conscious to the attention alert, would not be able to identify the moment when it was filed forward, frowning, finally decides to attach himself to the world of the living. The situation.
It's almost unsettling, suddenly find their eyes on: the steps instinctively stops - The cigarette poised. The blood rushes to the feet, suddenly, as if something terrible were to happen at any moment.
"Herrera, you are right sure that it was not Albert?" I ask this, and he finds himself blink blankly. Without even focus on that name, at first.
"Albert?" Repeat, half aloud. Immediately after
nods, though - angry snorts with laughter.
"Albert, yes, Albert was called exactly," he exclaims, coming almost a matter of urgency. "You know him, then? Why do not you tell me before, you totally stoned? "
"I stoned? Curse, Carlos, you're the only person in the world after seeing Albert can only suspect who has an affair with Vivian! That is, we're talking about a guy who's almost a phobia, kids - a guy who said no to Raven with the excuse that he was too young when there were like five years difference between them. A guy whose ideal man is a former football player six feet high, a guy who has saddled Björn to Vivian because he acted as a guard dog and sends him out of his mind controlling his every move at least - the uncle of his best friend! Albert! "
" But What are you talking about? "Carlos stammered.
not understand. It does not understand what
c'entrino football and guard dogs - is so unexpected, that statement, that words struggle to draw meaning or stuck in a logical sequence of deductions are now well established.
At the time the first thought is that Jude has gone mad - not even seem too strange, since the subject.
"I'm talking about the fact that the old man in your hallucinatory version of the facts fucks Vivian is actually the guy who looks after him while Björn is in New York. Uncle Keith, "is, however, clarification, and he goes back to blinking. "Friend family. It is absolutely not interested in bringing a child to bed on which he has a fragile sort of authority - that is, but as you thinking? What could be doing to make you think like a shit, you smiled? They held hands? "
" Uncle Keith? "
" Eh. "
" But it was Vivian who had a story to tell - the affair of the resistance, you know, and everything else ... "
" Calculating what Vivian is angry with you, you're lucky that you have presented as the his client, Herrera ... "snorts another, while the brain slowly each particular system new perspective in the press and the relief in her throat but was unable to melt. Without
dare.
is used to the disappointment does not give solutions to indulge in too reassuring - the inability to believe that Vivian's lied so, too, looking him straight in the eye. Like a vendetta - revenge.
"But the guy ..." Carlos
breathe, feeling his temples throb.
"The guy has not denied at all - he did not say anything, you know? I was going to pick a fight! "
" Albert tends to remain unruffled in a crisis situation, "admits Jude, as if it were the most normal in the world. "It starts in the middle, if there is pulled by force. Have thought it was a matter between you and Vivian ... "
" It would smash the left jaw?? "
can not convince - perhaps can not. He does not want.
The problem is that he had forgotten he had reached such heights of hardness, the grudge Vivian - every time the reserve certain looks and yet it seems impossible to even breathe just a minimum amount of time because the worst memories are clouded by the oldest and most other warm because he wholly to feel a closeness that probably has not existed for a long time. Or maybe it's
Fear - jealousy, too.
The slow attrition of not knowing anything about his life and not being able to protect in any way, even rushing to pick it up in some parking in the middle of the night. Not yelling at him.
one time attend his night was a nightmare, the nightmare has now become images.
"Shit," exhale, letting go against the back of the sofa.
He runs his hand over his forehead, then, pulling back her hair closes her eyes and tries to calm down.
reasoning.
"Shit," he repeats, but still claim to be entirely sure, very serious: "You say you do not love, then?"
Jude sighs, rolling his eyes.
"If you want I can show you the photos of his ex, so judge for yourself what Vivian is away from his ideal type ..."
"No, no. Thank you, "he says - that the idea to get to browse through family photos of that guy's seem even more grotesque the situation itself.
The only thing that can focus the figure is an idiot who should have done in the eyes of Vivian and relief, on the other side - the relief that she finally managed to loosen the nerves. Embarrassment and well-being, a strange mixture.
fatigue beginning to be felt on the eyelids, in bones.
"And the real guy instead?" Application soon after, trying not to think about the discomfort and embarrassment. Averting his eyes stands up again, clearing his throat. "That will not know anything, are you sure?"
"Nothing more than what I said." A shrug of the shoulders - Jude has returned to sit in his chair and looks at Carlos's cautious, to be sure he's not holding back the urge to ridergli behind.
Not that it matter much, anyway. The just need to know that Vivian is not fucking with that guy, at least for tonight is safe. With a guard dog in the ribs, apparently.
"I do not know how serious , the thing - honestly, Vivian did not give me the idea of being in love," says Jude, as he plunges his hands into his pockets.
nervously.
"But he is better, and also stopped to do shit as far as I know."
And while those words are bad - if it hurts the idea that someone else take care of Vivian in his place even managed to drag out of a life to which he has never been able to tear it - on the other hand there is a sincere gratitude to the man, whoever he is.
is hoped that the story goes on, although jealousy burns your stomach. Although it is painful.
He never thought of being able to be themselves, Vivian - even when there was no rancor in recent times, to divide, it was nevertheless clear that he would not be enough. Not many guys would have tried otherwise would not have spent so many nights with other people.
And now that their relationship is so deteriorated it would be just crazy illusions - it would be useless.
yet still can not help thinking how his - his secret, his nightmare.
her lover. Why
little later, while driving to the firm with the prospect of leaving the car in the parking lot, take the subway and prepare for another night of cigarettes and beer - another night of sleep that is - knows that the thoughts will also take the form, which will be all too easy to forget again the eyes of others and remember that night, to slipped his hand inside his jeans. Let go. It also convinced that tomorrow could find the courage to ask pardon, maybe.
Maybe.
That he, perhaps, could one day come to forgive him.
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