Regalo di Natale per Aika.^^
For additional details & rambling introduction, see this post . ^ ^
(Note: compared to Rosa, AU.)
happens Raven's first encounter with a morning when Jude is late for an appointment with his father.
is not so unusual an occurrence, nor is it unusual for the initial delay is amplified by the fact that the tap running across half the city to retrieve her sister from a night spent in some strange house, but it makes some inconvenient mishaps that would have normally not exactly welcomed.
As the bell of the house known, for example, open the door and seeing a guy in his bare chest.
meet his gaze vaguely sleepy, let your eyes slide along its body, and not being able to prove - despite all the efforts - something like the discomfort.
did not happen often, with the boys. It does not happen ever
with the guys who sleep in the same apartment where he undressed dispersed Magda.
Clearing his throat, he moves his eyes over his shoulder.
"Um, I would ..."
"Jude, yes, I know, "interrupts the other, absently, opening the door. "Magda is in the shower. The will take a while '- you wait inside? "The proper response would
No . Jude knows it very well.
And there would be a lot of reasons which should encourage them to respond appropriately, beginning Magda is taking a shower in the house where 'this guy is around half naked , ending with half an hour before I have my father . Leaving aside the fact that the guy has a perfect body, as well as half-naked, and in theory he should not notice such things and not just theoretically known. Also because he has a girlfriend. What
Magda hates, but he likes it enough.
The front door closes behind him, and Jude blinked.
The guy is already moving away - his back is perfect as much as his chest - and he finds himself as naturally follow him unconscious with which he crossed the threshold. Hands in his pockets.
vague feeling of alarm to tickle the nape.
"You and I know from my sister a lot?" Question, just because the sex life of Magda is not the business which concerns him but he always suspected of being masochistic. The other grunts, stopped in front of one of the kitchen cupboards.
"A year or so," he says, opening one of the cans to examine the contents. "Easy you have spoken to me, anyway. I am Raven. Coffee? "
And Jude opens his eyes, because no matter how few hours he slept that night, nor is the naked torso of the Raven: would make the connection right away, not even having to think. Magda has spent months to tout the praises of the guy - he spent months trying to present.
building in front of him now, Jude thinks must have been self-preservation, to keep him away so long. And that is a pity - really - that after having held firm in his purpose so long, has decided to abandon it the same morning.
"Jude?" Raven called, raising an eyebrow.
He jumps, lifting his head. "Yes?"
And when the other repeats, with a half smile, "You want some coffee?", Is said to be certain that whatever has happened in that house that night hardly involving sex, to get him to nod . It says it is simple courtesy, because Raven is friends with Magda and he has always tried to show polite even with friends of Magda that personally disturbing.
It says it is simply due to the fact that night has stayed three hours and a little cup of coffee could make him well.
But perhaps the truth is only that he knew from the beginning, that guy would have been his downfall, and that the intention to steer clear of it would work until I found where it was before. That when he met her gaze, the parameters would be overturned and he would have been to say the opposite of what they think - or think the opposite of what he believed - and would ultimately have a cup of hot coffee waiting riemergesse his sister from the bathroom.
Trying not to watch it.
failing, completely, in this regard. Because even when
Magda enters the kitchen fully dressed, and leans to kiss his cheek lightly with the lively wearing whenever it needs to be forgiven. Even as he pressed
hand on her back and guided her towards the door - even as he left, without looking back to prolong the moment. Even as he presses his fingers on the steering wheel and leaves into the street, ignoring the satisfied smile that stretches out her sister's lips curled at his side.
can still feel those eyes on him.
can still see those hands, those arms.
And you know - you know in the same way that he knew he had to meet him. In the same way he always knew he had to promise to go straight.
will not be easy to forget. Avoiding
forever.
let it back.
That awareness, however, did not prevent him from trying to postpone the inexorable fate as late as possible. The three successive months see too many girls and I spent with care to avoid falling into the traps that his sister prepare periodically.
memory tries to intervene putting into perspective the meeting: changing the memory of Raven to make it more obvious, less perfect. The eye begins to slide on male bodies with more intent, it is easier to watch if you have a goal in mind.
That guy was nothing special. Nothing worth while to remember so precisely.
I really can not convince, but it's a good point. For this reason, perhaps, is to loosen control.
For this, the day of Magda's birthday, she agrees to be carried away in an undisclosed location. The justification
- rational - is that he did not know Raven would be there, that he could not even imagine. There is a lot of people, after all, and if the other is in his own living space for this should not necessarily talk to him. Or try to ensnare.
The real reason, however, is that deep down he knows that he always had to barricade himself behind the positions built strength. Despite its intentions, it never really managed to shake off the feeling of totally wrong path - the fear of what they are doing Magda has always accused.
Proceed straight into a wall without seeing it. Without even bothering
the crash.
make eye contact with Raven, in a crowd, it means stop for a moment the sailor who has endeavored to follow for the last two decades: Jude deep breath, lifting his chin nod and should wet your lips when see him smile.
meet him, opening the road between the people.
Magda has gone from a few minutes, but he can not even pretend to be angry with her for not having warned - until that morning would never be able to admit it, but now it seems too stupid to have waited all this time to return to face his friend. It's like
the first time, somehow. Raven crisis sends his compass - crazy needle.
is dressed, this time - jeans and cotton shirt, soft - and there is nothing explicitly provocative in her appearance. Just too sharp eyes and throat discovery - perfectly carved cheekbones and black hair. Loose.
"Magda told me she probably would come," he begins, taking place at the bar beside him. "I was beginning to despair, though."
"I had not said that we'd be," said Jude, looking away. "It will be forgotten, perhaps."
"Easier did Part of his plan. "Raven smiled, her beautiful eyes. "What? After all this time still do not know your sister? "
" He has a plan? "
" He always plans for you, Jude. It also seems to have very clear ideas about what to serve to your life. "
" That's why you're here, you? "He asks, sarcastically.
But the only other ride. He shakes his head, sliding further down on the stool.
"No," he says. "I'm just a curious spectator."
And rationality requires not to believe him. Blacks eyes are too, too slow smiles.
Jude bites his lip, tilting her head forward. For a moment, imagine that you stand back - stand up.
But the ice cubes in the glass are already melting - are mixed with alcohol - and when Raven rests his hand on his skin color draws a contrast too distinct.
The heat leaves behind the trace of a shudder.
And as he strives to remain stable, the needle of the compass has gone crazy and the place has turned into a maze. It is lost now, the desire to go back.
The only direction left is forward.
Toward the promise of that skin, and that smile.
It is the very first time it happens, anyway. There are were other boys in the evenings and nights without names - there were mouths and alcohol flavors, hottest, hardest.
The next morning was easy to shake off the memories.
get out of bed and look around - make sure you do not recognize anyone or anything.
His father never knew anything. His sister has never spoken. And Jude has never exactly thought I could go on forever, but the idea of seeing until right would not seem objectionable.
After all, it was not even a real desire.
Surely it was not needed.
With Raven, everything is different.
That would finish the night in bed he had imagined from the first look - probably knew even before entering the premises, and that's why he put so much effort to delay the meeting. Present that would not be as simple as usual, after.
had not reckoned, however, that was also new at the same time.
It is not just sex, and not just the body is not that alcohol loosens the tongue and makes fluid the muscles - the more receptive nerves. Nor is it only the mouth that slides along its neck, the hands that get naked, eyes, fingers. Watch it.
"You would be photographed," he says, and it is a shock because it had never happened even to think. The other
lifts his head and has a perfect mouth.
"Now?" Question.
Jude shakes his head, because that would explain everything but it is too big and Raven has unbuttoned jeans, bare back like that other morning. We must touch it, to really understand its beauty, and maybe that's why suddenly the idea of taking a picture would seem irresistible to the sex has never before been to understand, to enjoy. It was never something so elusive, but slow too fast, and memory is not enough.
is not enough skin. After
, lying in bed with his eyes to the ceiling, trying to imagine an end to dawn that late in come and can not find it. Raven is a concrete weight that breathes quiet, leaning on his chest, and it is time to stand up, collect the clothes from the floor.
Away with you, ignoring her naked and his eyes.
not know what will happen, if it should wait for the light that does not allow quell'addio words. I do not know what will happen should be granted at that time to turn your head - Close lips.
But the other changes its position, rising on his elbow, and there is no question in his eyes with which it is observed from above. No fuss - no misunderstanding.
Just a little 'tired, perhaps - the shadow of a smile. The relaxation
satisfied of a pleasure already dissolved.
stop thinking , those eyes seem to say almost unknown. Stop fooling you, he pulls out the balls. Alive.
Words that Magda has borrowed from him, maybe. Incentives frustrated that Jude has too often shunned or rejected.
Now I do not know what to say if that guy had to pronounce them.
But the night is dark, and maybe Raven's eyes are saying something else. Maybe they're not saying anything - maybe they're just looking.
Waiting.
Jude holds his breath.
Then, finally - if the other whispers Sleep - the plan expires. He closes his eyes.
And let the darkness to find an answer - let it be the smell of leather companion to warm the body to relax. Lose it. Referring
dawn every necessary decision.
they gathered in the present - in the intertwining of the sheets. Without
wear anything for a few hours. No certainty, no shield, no mask.
And no fear.
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